Sarah Leah and Fishel Efraim

for each to write their story individually, then combine the two.  When we discovered how similar our stories

turned out to be we decided to post both as yet another example of how we both

function from the same wave length………………

FROM HER PERSPECTIVE:

would never find my besheret unless I changed my life in one of three

ways:  move to New

York, move to Israel

or go searching on the internet.   I

always enjoy visiting New York City

but never wished to live there,  I had a

lovely position in my profession  and

definitely did not feel I had the koach to make aliyah on my own.  The only option, as I saw it, was the third

one.

who does portrait photography as one of several hobbies,  organized a ‘photo-opt’ at my house on a bright

fall Sunday afternoon for myself and several 50+ single female friends, all of

whom she had also convinced their best option was the internet, specifically,

Frumster.com.  Some of these friends are

widowed and some are divorced.

was officially launched into the virtual world to find a spouse.  While I was quite proficient at using software

at work, in other respects, I had what would be called archaic skills in all

areas having to do with computer technology. 

As a matter of fact, I did not own a computer at the time and so was

relegated to using the computer at the library or at one of my daughters’

homes.

energy to my new enterprise, never really believing I would be successful but I

did buy a computer.  During that time I

had many interesting email interactions with 

men, most of who, in my age range, said that they were searching for a

woman with whom they might have children.

I learned that one

of the advantages to looking for a spouse at my age (now 64) is that, at the

very least, I was aware of what areas I would be able to compromise in as well

as areas for which I had zero tolerance. 

I was also aware of possible dangers involved in meeting someone face to

face whom I had met on the internet and so, the need to do a thorough  background check beforehand.  There was no doubt, if the information was

not forthcoming, I would not be arranging a meeting.

time and emotional energy in this ‘project’ and informed my daughter I had many

more productive and fruitful ways to

sign off “Frumster” post haste.  As I was

about to do so, I noticed one more profile that had not caught my attention

before and decided to send out one more email. 

The reply I received from Fishel sparked further interest so I sent

another email stating that, regardless of what happened between the two of us,

I planned to sign off of Frumster. 

Shortly after, he asked if we might therefore share email

addresses. 

of that year, after upgrading to the phone, we decided we would meet one

another and chose a ‘pareve’ city halfway between our respective hometowns in

which to spend Shabbos.  After an

extended weekend in which we did almost non-stop information sharing about our

lives, our spiritual involvement, our lifestyles, our families, pets, etc.,

Fishel now claims he knew he had met his besheret.  For my part, being a bit more cautious by

nature, I left for a week of solitude, camping in the Allegany

Mountains where I in the past have

done some of my best thinking.

That year, because of my job responsibilities, it was

difficult for me to take off to spend time with Fishel but fortunately many of

the Yomin Tovim were three days, also including Shabbos.  What better opportunity to gain an

understanding of where one is holding, spiritually speaking, that to spend

Shabbos and Yom Tov together.  We did

this a few times, and finally, after spending Simchat Torah in his community,

davening at his shul and meeting his friends and family, I flew home knowing

without a doubt that if this lovely man should decide to propose to me, I would

accept.  I understood that marriage to

Fishel would also include aliyah as he had sold his house, his car and had

flight arrangements to Israel.

spend his last Shabbos in the States with me. 

As it happened, that Thursday night, I was making Sheva Brochos at my

house for the daughter of one of my dear friends.  Fifteen minutes before my guests arrived

Fishel proposed and I accepted.  My

neighbor provided him Shabbos hospitality and we davened at my shul. After

Shabbos my daughter made a L’Chaim for us and the following day I took him to

the airport to catch his flight to Israel

where he set in motion much of what was needed for our lives together in Israel.

Rosh Chodesh Elul and are now happily ensconced in our cozy Israeli apartment,

waiting to begin ulpan next week.

one last email on Frumster!

FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE:

another Jewish dating site for about one year. 

I had decided I would not initiate any more emails but would continue to

respond to those who cared to correspond with me.

profile.  She stated in her profile that

on Shabbos she enjoys sitting by a roaring fire.  I responded by asking her how an Orthodox

person could take care of a fire on Shabbos. 

She thanked me for this question responding that she uses long burning

artificial logs which she lights prior to lighting her Shabbos candles.  Sarah Leah also promptly changed this part of

her profile feeling that others might misunderstand as I had.

from biking to camping to books we had both enjoyed.  The more the emails went back and forth the

more  I came to see that I had found a

genuine woman – someone whose religious values, family values and understanding

of integrity were as mine are.  Her

positive outlook and sense of the whimsy and ironies in life were and remain

endearing.  When we began speaking on the

phone I came to know her even better. 

When Sarah Leah would begin a conversation with “should I tell you the

interesting thing that happened at work today?”, I knew I was in for a

treat.  If the story was about her it

would be funny and if it was about someone else it would be endearing.  Sarah Leah and I exchanged rabbinic

references.  I was very pleased to be

sharing this information.  Her Rabbi

painted a picture of a righteous woman. 

years away from even thinking about aliyah.

we extended our stay by an extra day. Toronto

was a ‘neutral’ city where each of us had friends with whom we could stay. The

time flew by and it felt good being in her company.  I left for home feeling the woman I had met

was a definite ‘keeper’.

For Rosh Hashanah I went to Cleveland

and on Simchat Torah, Sarah Leah came to Montreal

and met my friends and family.  All

agreed she is someone special.  Her

family and friends approved of me.

and she accepted.  Then, I was away on my

pre-aliyah trip. 

week later. 

topics in the belief that, if we could sustain a growing relationship long

distance, we would be able to accomplish wonders face to face.  We covered as many relevant areas as we  could possibly think of, finances being a big

one as we are now both retired.  Both of

us felt we had learned much from previous marriages.  Sarah Leah suggested we both read and share

our feelings about a book entitled “The Intimate Enemy or How to Fight Fair in

Love and Marriage” by Dr George R. Bach and Peter Wyden, written in the 60’s

but chock full of timeless ideas.  As we

decided to underline the parts that were relevant to each of us, we came to see

that we were both underlining the same sections.  This is one of many examples we have discovered

of how we share the same wave length.

I love this beautiful lady and feel fortunate that she loves

me.  We currently are shopping for

folding bikes and tents with which we plan to explore our homeland.